True Love Is When You Take Care Of You, To Be Better For Those You Love. -Meg
My early years as a wife and mother, were ALL about being solely wife and mom. My whole life was about my children. I had no social life, hobbies for myself or anything outside of my husband and children. Although I was happily raising my children I always felt like I lacked purpose. But my life worked for me, until the birth of Facebook. Yes, you read that right, Facebook.
It’s where I began making connections with people I knew, and where I quickly realized I was about the only one who lived in a bubble with my husband our children and no other adult interaction nor social life outside of for that matter.
When other people I knew where meeting for dinner, studying abroad, and flourishing in their careers, I was a stay at home mom who began longing for more fulfillment.
Although, in hindsight being a stay at home mom for many years has been one of the most rewarding things I did for my children (now teens), I feel if I had given myself the opportunity to pursue friendships, community, and personal interests I would have been a better mother sooner.
I believe the lack of pursuing my own interests led me to hit a somber wall I might not have otherwise.
When I say somber wall I have to share that anxiety and depression were familiar states for me. I was lost with a low self image and desperately wanting to grow as a woman.
When birthdays rolled around, conversations with my older sister about how unfulfilled in life I felt, were on repeat.
I cried every year! Until, that one year she might have heard my song one too many times and instead of her usual “your a great mom and doing a great job” pep talk it was “do something about it! Who is stopping you!”.
She’s always had a tough love, no time for nonsense attitude. You know, the one you can always trust to say the truth even when it hurts? That’s my sister.
But, she was right! No one was stopping me. I wasn’t happy with myself, and because of this, I was not able to give my children the best version of who I was. I had to make a commitment to become a better me if I wanted to better for my children.
My Life Changing Realization
For the sake of brevity, I’ll quickly say that I eventually began to slowly explore my needs and interests. I went back to school, joined a mix martial arts class focused on kickboxing (something I had always wanted to try), got onto the best shape of my life both mentally and physically, I started a small luxury transportation business, and went on to fulfill a childhood dream of becoming a beauty queen.
I became heavily involved in my community and took part in many incredible charity events as I had always dreamed I would and I felt incredible.
I finally discovered who I was in addition to wife and mommy. I realized it was no crime to pursue things that made me happy, it was not in the least bit selfish. In fact, in pursuing my own interests I was able to be a better person for the people I loved.
My family is my life; my children are the very air I breathe but, I have come to learn that in committing greatly to myself I am committing to bringing them the very best version of me and that’s what they deserve, my absolute very best.
So, when I say your biggest commitment must always be yourself I speak from my experience with love, for you and the people you love who deserve the very best version of you.
In the same way a stewardess is instructed to place their oxygen mask first to effectively assist others, you should place your proverbial oxygen mask to be the best you can be for those you love.
That, is true love.
xoxo-meg
